Dear PJ,

 Beggars can’t be choosers. Maybe my words seem harsh but you’re putting yourself into the desperate category. You are 48 years old, you are not dead. You are young in this day and age. Most women don’t even hit their peak until 40 or 45 years old. You have a long life to live. Right now, you’re not living it. You’re observing from a sofa. Your boyfriend does not seem like much of a life partner, in fact he seems like he drains the life from you. I would strongly recommend you end this relationship as quickly as possible. You can only determine your relationship’s expiration date and from what it seems you already know this is what has to be done. Imagine if you will, you marry this man. He is telling you his mother comes first and you second. Are you willingly to be any man’s second choice in life. The answer should be NO! You deserve to be the prioriy, his number one concern. If he leaves you questioning your worth in his life, he’s the wrong guy for you. Should you say I do, what are you saying I do to? A life lived on a couch? You seem thirsty for adventure. Love is an adventure. No one knows where you may find it but I do know this, this man is not your love however there is love waiting for you. Now leave this loser behind so you can seek the real deal love affair. XO, Diana

Hi,

I want this blog to be informative as possible.  Should you have dating and relationship questions please send them to me at diana@dianafalzone.com.  

I read every one of your emails and I will get back to you.  Your questions are very important to me.

Wishing you all the best,

Diana

Meet someone at a club: Although in recent times, picking someone up at bar is an old cliché, sometimes we should not turn our noses up at potential opportunities. If you are someone who is extroverted and highly social, chances are you will find someone better suited to your personality in a more active social scene like a bar, club, or lounge. Like in any situation, be sure to respect the other’s personal space. Should they not seem interested, take it as a blessing in disguise. They could have saved you from a boring date or even a troublesome relationship. Dating should be fun. Do not let it get the best of you. Attend social events: Make yourself aware of social activities going on around your base or town. You will be surprised to find there are many single events that are hobby-related like wine tasting, cooking classes, and sporting activities. It can be easier for you to meet a person when you are both engaged in a hobby of your choice. Besides being an excellent icebreaker, the hobby also increases the chance that the two of you have at least one common area of interest. Take a class at a local college or university: Not only you will be bettering yourself but you could meet a great person to date. If you are older than the average college student do not worry. Many schools now offer continuing adult education classes that are available in the evenings or weekends. Take a class of your interest or go outside the box to learn about something new. Either way, you’re likely to meet new friends. Be adventurous: The world is your singles bar. You can meet someone anywhere: the gym, grocery store, library, train, plane, restaurant, coffee shop…you name it, it can lead to your fated encounter. This sort of unknown can be rather intimidating, but the pros outweigh the cons. No matter what happens, you are building confidence in yourself. You will not win all the hearts, but remember — you only need to capture one. Go to church: In a church you can find God and a possible soul mate. Most churches offer snacks after the service. It is a perfect time to introduce yourself to someone of your interest who shares your beliefs. Volunteer: If you are not religious, then volunteer for a cause or charity of your choice. I guarantee you’ll meet a ton of new people and walk away with some new friends at the very least. Internet dating: There are many pros and cons of internet dating, but there is one common theme: You must be cautious and use good judgment. Internet dating sites are a great tool for someone who is very busy or shy. Most of them allow you to view profiles and have instant contact with the person of your choosing. Today there are several safe dating sites like Lovehappens.com, Match.com, J-Date, and Paltalk. Finding someone to share your time and eventually your life with is not easy, but you should try to have fun in your quest. And don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from taking advantage of each new opportunity to meet someone. The world is waiting for you to say hi!

Surviving Bad Dates Diana Falzone |  All of us have been on bad dates. Although they can generate funny stories to rehash with your friends later, why waste your valuable time with uninteresting company? Here are some types of daters that you should avoid to avoid a headache. 1) The Player: This is the man or woman who seems to say and do all the right things. Be wary of their charm, they are professional daters. Once they get whatever they are after from you, they flee. You will not hear from them again. Although it can be fun to have a fling here or there, your heart and mind must be in sync with each other; otherwise you could find yourself disappointed and hurt. Date this type with caution. 2) The Serial Monogamist: This person needs to be in a relationship. Most likely, they recently broke up with someone and are frenetically trying to find a significant other to fill the void. Try to take your time getting to know this kind of individual. You want to make sure they like you for who you are. Sometimes serial monogamists overlook who you are just to avoid loneliness and you end up feeling misunderstood. Relationships are supposed to be long-term. Be patient and take your time. 3) The Cheapskate: Dating is an expensive sport. You have to account for dinners, movies, show tickets, etc. However, there is always one dater who tries to get you to pay for everything. Whether you are male or female, if you continue to see each other past the first date it is only polite to offer to pay or split the bill. If someone always expects you to pay, they may be taking advantage of your generosity. Be wary of this sign, it may indicate that this person is a lifelong moocher. 4) The Tell-All-Book: A date is meant to be fun and a time to get to know someone better, but a date should not be a therapy session. Sometimes when people are nervous they divulge too much information about their childhood, family, or past relationships. Should you start to feel like Dr. X, make your exit. A date is no place for discussing a person’s problems. Lastly, if your date is being completely inappropriate (based on your own discretion) you can cut your time together short. I am all for being polite but once someone crosses your comfort zone, the rules of etiquette go out the window. Excuse yourself and leave. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun, even though it can be stressful at times. Try to enjoy yourself as much as possible. Hopefully, my tips will help you avoid a bad date.

Diana, I am a 48 year old widow. My husband died almost 8 years ago. I have three children, two married and a son at home in high school. I met a man about a year and a half ago and he started talking about marriage almost right away. He is a really nice man, BUT, he is 56 years old and lives at home with his mother. He married for the first time when he was in his late 40’s but it ended in divorce. He stays with his mother to help take care of her since she lives alone. He says when she gets bad enough to go to a nursing home, then we can be together. He wants to be with me constantly though. But, only to sit together on the couch and just sit. I have to sit beside him so that he can put his arm around me. If I get up to do anything while he is here, he says that I have no time for him. He very rarely wants to go out. If we go out and he asks, he pays. If I ask him to go out, I have to pay for me, him and my son. I work part-time so that I can be home with my son and have a limited income. He works full time, has a business on the side and has no bills since he lives with Mom. And if he finds out that I have planned to go out with my family, he invites himself along and I pay. If we go grocery shopping, he puts things in my cart, I pay for them and he never offers to pay me back. I’ve quit taking him along to the grocery store! He wants to be included in EVERYTHING that my family and I do and again, invites himself if I don’t say anything and he finds out about it. I have never been invited to anything that he and his family do. And, he takes his mother out quite frequently. I’ve tried to excuse a lot because he is a nice person and I hate the thought of being alone after my son goes to college in 4 years. I guess that in my heart I do know what I need to do. But this may be my last chance to be with somebody. He won’t change will he? Please e-mail me back with your advice. I just can’t make myself close this door. HELP!!! PJ